Accessing and Engaging in Behavioral Health Services

Becky Schimdgall, Kinship Family Facilitator

Parenting in itself is difficult. And supporting a child with mental or behavioral health concerns is even more complex.

As a mental health provider, I often hear:

“This is totally new to me; I’ve never been in therapy before and neither has my child.”
“I’m a little uncomfortable sharing so much with a stranger.”
“My extended family doesn’t believe in therapy and I’m worried they’ll judge us for seeking help.”
“I don’t know what treatment options are available or appropriate for my child.”

I’d like to take this opportunity to unpack some of these common concerns.

It’s okay to feel uneasy if this is a new experience for you and/or your child. New experiences are typically a little uncomfortable, so allow yourself to feel those feelings for a moment. One of the great aspects of any behavioral health service is that there’s no right or wrong way to participate. The professionals you will be working with do not expect you or your child to “know what you’re doing” in the therapeutic setting. Their main focus at the beginning is building a therapeutic relationship with your child. This is called “building rapport” and research has shown that it is THE MOST important factor when determining if therapy will be ultimately “successful.” Not the therapist’s professional training, not the frequency or duration of treatment, not the Evidence-Based Practices (EBPs- more on that later) being utilized in session, but the quality of the therapeutic relationship between the client and therapist.

So take a deep breath, let go of any performance anxiety, and give your child and yourself some time to build a trusting relationship with the therapist.

Next, I get it. Vulnerability is hard (if you have 20 minutes, I highly recommend you listen to this profound TED talk about vulnerability here). And as adults, we have all likely had at least one negative experience where we were vulnerable with a friend or family member and ended up getting hurt. But behavioral health professionals are held to standards that family and friends are not. They are legally bound to maintain confidentiality according to HIPAA, so unlike your Aunt Sally, they won’t be sharing anything that is said or done during sessions. In addition, part of being a behavioral health professional is remaining non-judgemental and neutral with clients. So while we are all human and make mistakes, behavioral health professionals are continually practicing their ability to provide a safe, non-judgemental space for their clients.

I try not to be snarky when I hear that someone “doesn’t believe in therapy.” I want to say, “Therapy isn’t like unicorns; it does exist…” but instead I explain that one of our ethical standards as therapists is to only utilize Evidence-Based Practices (EBPs) in which we are trained. For a therapeutic model to be “evidence-based,” it is required to have been studied extensively and proven to be effective in treating a specific condition. Like anything that is researched, it is studied against control groups (no treatment) and very detailed records must be kept throughout the studies (there are typically more than one study required in this process).

That being said, there are some treatment modalities that are either less common or newer which are being practiced but may not be an EBP yet. Asking your therapist if they are practicing an EBP in their treatment with your child is totally appropriate, as is asking what kind of training has this person had in this treatment modality. If you don’t feel comfortable with the answers you receive, it is appropriate and understandable if you’d rather ask for someone more experienced.

The second part of this statement is a little trickier, worrying about feeling judged by others for seeking professional help for your child. This is a completely valid feeling. However I would challenge you to consider, would you feel more comfortable watching your child struggle every day, knowing there is something you could do to help them? People will always judge our parenting decisions. What is important is feeling confident and secure in the decisions you are making for your child and your family.

Now we get to the practical part. What is actually out there?

I’ve put together a list of local providers to help you get started. We are so lucky to live in a city with so many behavioral health providers! That being said, this list is not exhaustive and it may change over time. But I hope this is a helpful resource that can bless your family. Stay cool, friends! See you in September 🙂

General Mental Health Providers: